Im daigonaly parked in a parallel world ! An Actuary in making/ Teacher/ Self Proclaimed Entrepreneur

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In Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound”. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards and forwards, it takes us to a place where we ache to go again.

My last one and a half year travelling to these places. We travelled long and forgot why poetry was invented. 




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Physicists define “Inertia” as resistance.  Resistance to change. In a world where change is life but the constant end up getting all the attention. Human create circles and then run around them. Thus, the life is all about revolving around these circles. More number of circles leading to increased numbers of round that takes one far away from the centre, the root. And when we realize that we have been running so long and are so far, we endeavour to preserve our present state and take a pause. And this pause becomes the longest stretch and so the point of decline. As a happily ever-after life requires one to run and run constantly. We call this constant running moving on. 

But, doesn’t this moving on requires burying your today in a box ? As cliché as this sounds, burying a part of you in that box. The part you may barely knew or was always acquainted with. The part you will never see again. It’s so hard to leave but until you leave. Then, every day is a new box. The thing about boxes is “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”  Terrified of your own inertia. Lost in limbo between where you are and where you want to be. To advance or to revert ? Exhaustive much, isn’t it ? That’s life !


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Out of mind

We, humans are constituted with a large number of factors. So many layers to operate on, many influences we receive from our minds. Thoughts rushing in and out.  At times we feel words from supernatural echoing in our minds, past flashes, flash forwards as we are teleported. Our wanderlust mind jumping from our utopia to our darkest fears. But when this thought traffic is at peace, people call us out of mind. May be this out of mind life is worth living. May be !ImageCImage

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The High Cycle

The feeling of  being enduringly stoned on a low-grade marijuana; the flashes between few intense highs and usually the terrible lows, wallowing in misery with epic high vibes; the misery of being accustomed to the blacker side of the grey for like forever. Ultimately it has to go but why at the time you start enjoying it. The addiction.. but “the thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually what ever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good and starts to hurt.” 

But habits change, memories fade; they are meant to be, sooner or later. They vanish like they never existed. You look high above the sky and laugh; loudly, insanely, you guffaw followed by a complete silence. That’s the moment when you hit rock bottom of being sober,clean, self-possessed, non-indulgent. An unfamiliar territory, indeed. This nausea turns out to be the most haunting stretch of your life. You struggle, you suffocate, the world shrinks beneath your feet. But eventually you learn to live with it and a moment comes when it flip overs, you again start seeing things. The white side of the grey, being the sober high. An addiction, nevertheless. That’s how the life high cycle is…